Driving six teenagers home from a youth group retreat, I was having a wonderful discussion with a tenth grader about Communion and God's love and wham! out of nowhere a beautiful huge buck bounded across the road. I managed to brake but could not avoid him.

The kids are all right.

The car is not so all right, but it's just a car.

The deer? He did a somersault and then dashed across the field, as graceful as he had been before. I hope he too is all right. He was one beautiful buck.

Thanks, God, for protecting us all this morning.

Because of travel, I missed church yesterday. I was really disappointed.

In the past, whenever I've contemplated missing or actually missed church, I've always said I often have regretted missing church, but I have never regretted going. I'd use that truth to force myself to go on days when I just couldn't muster the strength to go otherwise.

Yesterday, I was just plain disappointed. It went deeper than regret. It was DANGITALL--I will not get to go to church for another week. I missed everything that was said. Something that was said might have changed my life. DANGITALL.

I'm disappointed about yesterday, but I'm thrilled to realize once more how much it means to me.

I have no idea . . .

Some people say God takes an active part in our lives, even in the minutiae.

Some people say God is capable of doing so, but generally doesn't.

Some people say God only looks at the big picture.

Some people say God created us and now just sort of watches.

I don't know. I only know that this week some really crappy stuff happened and some amazing stuff happened, too; and I thank Him for getting me through the crap and thank Him for whatever role He played in providing the good stuff. I am not taking it for granted, Big Guy.

Has it been 9 days?

It has been nine days since I blogged, though it hasn't been 9 days since I thought about God! I have to admit, however, that for some reason in the last week or so I haven't had Him foremost in my mind as I might. My prayer life tends to be more of an ongoing conversation than anything else and I think I've been too busy for conversations.

This is not me:

"Oh Lord, I lift up my [important person] to you. I ask that You bless him/her in his/her struggles and allow me the wisdom to know how to help him/her. I ask this in the name of Jesus, Your Son. Amen."

This is me:

"Okay, God, what am I supposed to do about this one?"

Church this Sunday was uplifting, as usual. The gospel was the healing of the ten lepers; the Samaritan was the only one who said "thanks." Rude, huh? But not surprising. I bet only 10% of people write thank-you notes.

Adult forum was on the Sabbath. It's going to be a three-part thing: 1) Introduction 2) Jewish teaching 3) Christian interpretation. What I took from it was that Rest = Good; so I read Harry Potter 7 for a while and then slept the rest of the afternoon, thus ignoring the three-day pile of dirty pots and pans in the kitchen.

Phone call with Mom

Mom is not happy about my family attending the Episcopal church, but to her credit, she's trying to understand and hope that the move brings us closer to God, even though she really doesn't think it's a good move. In her mind, I should just disregard anything in the RC church that I am troubled by, accept the theology (not realizing that there are points of theology I am troubled by), and stay.

She is trying. She has just asked two things: that I not talk to my dad, because he will use it as an excuse to tell her "I told you so" (he's not a church-goer any more); and that I not talk to my sister, because she is afraid I will try to convert her.

I'm not anywhere near trying to convert anyone. I'm not even going to convert myself. I am still RC, just an RC attending an Episcopal church. I'm quite sure becoming Episcopalian is not going to fix anything, anymore than staying RC is going to.

Current reading:

A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH (David Holmes): Very interesting stuff on Henry VIII and the liturgial reforms of the 19th century, which I did not know about.

OUR FATHERS: THE SECRET LIFE OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH IN AN AGE OF SCANDAL (David France): Journalistic retelling of the sex scandals of the late 20th and early 21st century RC church. The facts are things I mostly knew: many kids were abused by priests who were shuffled from parish to parish so that they could abuse more kids. The depiction of New England/Boston Catholic culture and the discussion of sexuality is fascinating.

GRACEFUL EXITS (Debra Campbell): Terribly disappointing. Very academic. I had hoped for something more along the lines of SOUL SURVIVOR, but this simply wasn't it. Ah well.